legpresslover

Ok so I thought to myself that a starting point would be a good place to start. Just a basic overview should be enough. I started off the year in Leeds, I am a student completing a masters in Osteopathy. I have had to take a year our for financial reasons, I am too independent to rely as heavily on parents as I’d need to get by as finding a part-time job to fit around university proved impossible over the last year.

As of january I had been single for a year and looking to change that, as such I had a date with what seemed to be a lovely guy, he gave out great signs and all seemed well but over the next couple of weeks he continually blew me off resulting in me going out with a girlfriend on the saturday before Valentine’s day. The night hadn’t been too successful then lo and behold a cute guy approached me saying hi and how beautiful I was and proceeded to type to me on his phone as he had lost his voice. He asked me for a kiss and as he was so cute and hopeless texting on his phone I obliged whilst my friend was at the bar, as soon as she got back I pushed him back to his friends. I must have done something right as before he left for the next bar he gave me his number. As our night was going quite slow my friend and I decided to go onward to the bar he was headed to, on the way out I fell off a small stage (I’m clumsy at all times not just under the influence of alcohol) resulting in a powerslide along a wooden floor giving me an awesome burn on the top of my foot. – This catch up is taking more time that anticipated – So we ended up catching up with the guy and in my anger over getting blown off I took the guy home – BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE! Tom is absolutely amazing, waking up next to him saying happy valentines day I tried to be all aloof saying he needn’t make small talk as I didn’t expect to see him again, I think this spurred him on and we spent all the following Tuesday together – we talked about anything and everything and it was the most comfortable I’ve ever been with what was essentially a stranger. The downside of the situation was that he lives in Cornwall whilst I was based either in Leeds or Wales. However we kept talking and a week later he was visiting again and we were pretty much addicted to each other from the get go.

After 3 or 4 visits we were smitten, it was the first time I’d ever wanted to tell a man that I loved him before he said it to me. We worked so well together it seemed to good to be true, in a sense I suppose it was as although we began a relationship knowing it was going to be long distance it proved to difficult to maintain especially when I had to take a year out and would be living in Wales which is more difficult to travel to.

So summer arrived I’ve been home working full-time to save money for my return to university, I had a couple of weeks spent down in Cornwall having the time of my life, but as it always seems to life got in the way of my visits to Tom and he could no longer stand the distance. Most of my relationships had some element of distance in so I was quite used to this but I think the connection and relationship we had was so deep and intense it was hard to be away from each other. So before I was due to spend a month down with him Tom brought the relationship to and end, it was the hardest thing I’ve been through if I’m honest. We ended when we were both very much in love with each other, it was also very fast as he didn’t want any contact as it would draw it out and we would change our minds. In the long run it was the more sensible move but by God it still hurts. I was willing to move down and live with him during my gap year providing us a stronger base for the relationship on my return to Leeds though that would’ve been a fast move.

So here I am almost 3 months after the split, still missing him most days and still loving him. I respected his wishes for no contact to allow us both time to get it out of our system until this week. I was upset on Sunday as we are having to either find one of our dogs a new home of have him put down, I felt my friends didn’t really understand how I was feeling and I e-mailed Tom. I apologised for contacting him and explained I didn’t expect anything back I just needed to get my feelings out to someone I knew would understand. To my surprise Tom replied the very next morning and has been missing me a huge amount as well, although still believing the decision to end it was the right one and that I shouldn’t contact him often. That was fine by me as I was happy enough just to know that he still cared enough to reply, I responded again and so did he the dilemma now is that I don’t want it to go on much longer. We said when it ended that we would have no contact and then be friends which I loved the sound of however in hindsight I don’t think we could ever just be friends and now I don’t want to compromise anything. I replied a final time today and hopefully he won’t send anything else because we are just making things worse as we have both admitted to still loving and missing each other, I feel content knowing that we both felt the same then and now.I am coming to terms with and getting less jealous over the idea that he is sleeping with other people, I have aswell it’s just a natural thing to do to try and get over somebody but it has never come anywhere close to what I felt and experienced with Tom and in a strange way I like that despite seeing other people he still misses me.

So that is my year until now, well the main developments and what has had the most impact on me.

So from here on out I will be telling of my attempts to amuse myself in here in Mid Wales with all the ups and downs of living back in the remote(kind of) countryside.

Heres hoping for a smooth ride – however given my history it’s not likely!

Tags: Personal, Relationships